Tuesday, 19 February 2019

Expectation by James Aged 18


Expectation is something we all deal with all day, every day. Whether it be parents, bosses or maybe even friends. We are expected to be doing something.  The first subject of the matter I will be going into is indeed the dreaded by many, parents.

Even from birth parents have expectations from their children. While they may never admit it, they all have an image of sorts of what they wish for their child to be. My parents never told me what to be, instead letting me find my own path in my education. They had expectations of me, which helped me get the main two, English and Maths out of the way completely.  I got enough grades from my initial GSCEs to get into college. Now, college was one of the ideas thrown at me from my parents. They offered many suggestions, jobs, apprenticeships, however college was the pick for me. After which they supported me during my college years, as I went through some troubles during the first year which I wouldn’t have gotten through without their support. They’ve never had any real expectations of me, in terms of what they wanted me to actually be, rather leaving that for me to discover. However they have always had the expectation for me to succeed. To my knowledge, I have succeeded to meet their expectations.  Now it moves on to their current expectations of me in terms of career. While I want to pursue a career in creative writing, they are supporting me as much as they can to be able to live that dream of mine.

Along with parents come the next subject, Teachers and Bosses. To any youngster, teachers may as well be their bosses. Viewing what they saw as law and obeying it to the dot. In terms of behaviour I always respected my teachers, being sure to never cause trouble and for the most part I never did. Homework was another matter entirely however I always got all classwork done in time, if not sooner.  In my experience, although teachers get paid the same either way, they do their best to make sure their students are performing the best they can.  During my entire high school learning my teachers had high expectations of me, most I met in terms of grades. Then I get to sixth form. I took ICT, Health and social care, Computer aided design and Business studies. While I was able to do the tasks set for me, I began to develop some awkwardness in social situations. And since I was in a room full of other people everyday I fell behind in my work, finding myself completely unable to concentrate while surrounded by others. I was soon to fall out of said sixth form, as I was not able to keep up with the expectations that my tutors had of me. After that I joined a military training club, where I stayed for a few weeks and quite enjoyed the experience. There were quite low expectations of me as I was quite weak, however I did what I could and performed to the little expectations I had. The trainers there were able to help keep me motivated too, allowing me to push myself to the limits I had. Unfortunately due to my eczema I had to drop out, learning at the same time I was unable to join the Royal Air Force for the same reason. That was quite a big hit to my motivation as I had wanted to be that for quite some, so I chose to go down another route in the form of IT. I took a level 3 IT course at College Cambria, where there were extremely high expectations of me. For a good reason, I was able to do the work there with ease. For the first half of the year I aced everything set of me and got the highest grades achievable that was what everybody had expected of me. However soon I began to lose motivation, deciding for myself that I don’t need to pass through distinctions and could instead just pass with, well, a pass. This is where I began to once more fall behind my expectations, as my tutors had expected me to achieve distinctions in every assignment and knew I was capable of doing so. As time passed their expectations shrunk to match my work, and that is where it stayed  ever            since.

My third point is friends. Friends will always expect things of somebody, as you’ll usually fall under one category or another. I fell into a more twin category, where sometimes I was silent and anti-social, and others I was out-going and silly. As such they always expected one of the two and I found it difficult to be anything that wasn’t expected of me. I always found expectations from friends were one of my strongest motivators, as expectations from those we like, we are usually more inclined to live up to. Even online I am known as a more silly person, where those twin categories come in once more. Along with friends comes the most important expectations, self-expectation. I have always had low self-expectations, only then be decently surprised when I surpassed them. It was a great way to motivate myself as it would always give me a good feeling that I was doing well. My self-expectation for one thing however, gaming, has always been outrageously high. I needed to be the best at my favourite game for most of my life, World of Warcraft. Though recently I have stopped playing it, up until then I was a high performing player and had achieved many things that kept me going. Once I quit that, I found I that it was a boost to my life as I could focus on other things. Overall, self-expectations keeps a person going. If a person has high expectations of themselves then they will be more motivated to perform to please themselves, however those with low expectations like myself are more than happy to pass even by the barest means.

Expectations of gender are another topic of discussion that many try to avoid. While I am not exactly the most masculine male on the earth, there are certain things than men just don’t do. One of these things is talk about more personal problems. While women, in my experience, have been quite open about this subject. Men too have these problems that most try to hide, at least from other men. I’ve found that women are able to make a man bring out that side of them far easier than men can. It is expected of them that they are the ‘stronger’ of the two genders and therefore can handle their problems alone. Another problem are subtle things, such as the way the different genders walk. Typically it is assumed women walk with more of a sway than men, and that men just, well, don’t care all that much for how they walk. To add to the different expectations of gender, women are expected to wear make-up and different products to make themselves look more beautiful, while it is frowned upon for men to do the same thing. However that’s not the worst thing in the world, as men can use products such as shaving cream and are allowed beards to stylise or to simply grow out or even shave. Women are expected to shave elsewhere, such as under their arms as well as their legs. While for men it is expected to not shave those areas, and sometimes even compare how hairy it is.


Wednesday, 6 February 2019

first aid training at the hub

first aid training at the hub 

ste on the left from st johns and three dummys 

Today we had are first aid training with ste from st johns ambulance showing the group different technics on saving a persons life . Everyone who attended really enjoyed the training and we are looking forward to ste coming back again soon to do the baby and toddler training course

There was a couple of people feeling a bit anxious when they first turned up but by the end of the course there mental wellbeing had improved .

Look what we all recieved 

Friday, 1 February 2019

Friday fun at the Hub!!

Fridays are the community day at our Hub in Holywell and  open to all members of the community to drop by and join in.

Today we had the newly formed 'Women's Workshop' running alongside our 'Men's Shed'. Our group support worker, Dave, was around to support the new men that arrived today. The men find this relaxed time at KIM a nice introduction to our service and many go on to do additional work with our KIM 4 Him service.

The kitchen produced a fab Chinese inspired menu today - the home made prawn toast was amazing. Although I confess to needing (but not having) a nap in the office afterwards. Always great value at just £2.50 for a main course (£3.50 with a pud). Come along and try - families welcome :) maybe bring your partner to see KIM ?

We had a surprise visitor in the afternoon that gave Dave more of a handful than he had in the Men's Shed...

Dave and little H. Congrats to the new mum and dad!! 
(Dave did eventually give the baby back to her parents)

Wednesday, 30 January 2019

Oh the weather outside is.....

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow....

Here we are again. Nearly a month later than I would have liked to have seen the snow for a white Christmas.

For the second Wednesday running the surrounding conditions have meant we have cancelled groups for safety reasons.

As ever, it's about taking the positives and finding new answers to the new questions. Fun :)

What ideas can you think of? Photography if snowy scenes. snowball 'fights'. sledging, warm fires, hot chocolate, knitting a cosy scarf....the list goes on.

This picture made me chuckle (it's also very sadly true for me!)

Be safe out there!

Friday, 25 January 2019

Success for Volunteer at Mold Crown Court cafe!

From the North Wales Training Facebook page:

Well done to Emma who is currently taking part in the Employability Skills Programme. We are delighted you are enjoying your placement with Kim Inspire in Mold Courts and that they have just retained their 5 star food rating. Keep up the good work!!

Monday, 21 January 2019

Week 1 of the KIM 4 Him 'Mancraft' pencil portraits

Windows to the soul....

This is this first week (of 6) of Mark running his pencil portrait group.

All the men are developing new skills and building on the photography portrait work we did last year.

The group started with each man having their portrait photo printed before Mark asked them just to draw to see what hidden skills they had.

Mark said all the men had started with the position of "I can't draw"...however, the early results have been fantastic and it just shows we can achieve things when we believe and give it a go. A little encouragement can go a long way!

Men at work

Here are the starting photos...I wonder what the finished drawing will be like in 6 weeks time?





The early works...

Friday, 11 January 2019

First Week Back

Hello 2019!

KIM staff enjoying the sticky pudding.

First week back is always hard when you have had a couple of weeks off. The thought of coming back to 200 emails and getting up early in the mornings again is not appealing!

After trying to get back in the spirit of working again, and trying to get organised for the groups starting back next week, we decided to have a team meal today. Arianne and Paul volunteered to cook for the staff. They made chilli, chips, rice, guacamole, tortilla chips and for dessert they made sticky toffee pudding. We were very surprised that Paul could cook and we are hoping that he cooks every week for us! 

It's always good to find new skills about people - have you got any skills that you have not shared with other people before? Maybe talk about these to friends, family or in KIM groups. We would love to hear about everybody's skills, hobbies and interests, please feel free to post your thoughts below.

Please check our website for all the latest groups. We are looking forward to seeing you all again soon.